I'll be really honest here. The past week or so I've been wondering if This Fruit Thing is really worth it for me. Keeping with that honesty, I'll say that lack of weight loss is really discouraging me. Also, my back has started acting up again, and that bums me out more than anything! It's really a downer when it hurts to walk, bend, reach, and lift--aka, my entire workday. But, this post isn't just for me to complain. It has a story, with like, a MORAL at the end! Aren't you excited?! (If you're not, just lie. I'm fine with that.)
The story
Tonight I worked an overnight shift. We basically counted everything in the store, and accuracy was key. Preparation had been going on in the two weeks prior, and it was fricken intensive. When I get stressed, I tend to turn to food as a comfort. Seeing a lack of weight loss and an increase in back pain made me want to turn to food even more, so I did. But first, I turned to my old habits: trying to eat less. I got more hungry, and started craving "normal" food. Then I started eating less fruit, and more hummus. I even ate some tortilla chips with hummus one night. It's still vegan, I thought to mysef. I started sneaking things from the candy bowl at work. Starbust is vegan, too... right? Tonight though, it all went out the window. I ate... drumroll please... PIZZA. Yep. Supreme pizza. It was free, it was 11pm, and I wanted to see what would happen.
The moral of the story
What happened? I felt like CRAP. I felt guilty, my stomach hurt, I was dehydrated, it was awful. In fact, I still feel awful. As I write this I'm guzzling as much water as I can handle to try to repair my body. I don't regret eating that pizza, because it made me realize what I've been trying to ignore: I've been slipping away from this new lifestyle, willingly.
So is it worth it?
HELL YES, it's worth it. The way I feel after drinking a smoothie wins so hard over the way I feel after eating pizza or snack sized Twix bars, any day. And the peace of mind and lack of guilt makes it more worth it than anything for me. Even if the feelings I associate with unhealthy food seem like they're worth it, they're not. I don't need them. They only make me crash and burn later, and they certainly don't feed my body and mind. Tonight was the most obvious proof ever... apparently obvious proof is what I needed.
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Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
This Fruit Thing Day 29
Zomg, I really have gone 29 days without animal products gluten, processed food, sugar (not counting fruit), or anything cooked?
Almost.
I went to a baby shower and had the fondant off some cake, at the insistence of the mother-to-be. I had a soy latte or 2 at work on days when nothing else but a latte seemed to suffice. And, the past couple days, I've had hummus with my romaine. Some Sabra brand, some homemade. Neither 100% raw.
Why? Well, to be honest, it is very like me to take something strict and make it even stricter. For example, take a diet full of goodness where you eat an abundance of living food, and try to make it low calorie at the same time. Or make some foods within the no-guilt diet actually seem "worse" than others, and rule them out. I kind of felt myself doing that (read: Max saw me doing it and called me out on it), so I decided to let myself cheat a little, to show myself it wouldn't kill me. And guess what. It didn't! An exercise in moderation, if you can call it that.
So, the run down so far:
On a Random Note
This is so very off topic, guys, but worth mentioning. Elizabeth Ellis. A woman my dad happened to meet on a plane, who happens to be a phenomenal professional storyteller. Leave it to Dad to befriend the most interesting people ever! They talked for the whole flight, and Dad even took notes on their conversation. Dad ended up ordering a book she co-wrote with Loren Niemi, called Inviting the Wolf In. It's basically about the hows and whys of telling the difficult story. I'm only 33 pages in, but so far it's very good! Interesting and thought provoking.
Almost.
I went to a baby shower and had the fondant off some cake, at the insistence of the mother-to-be. I had a soy latte or 2 at work on days when nothing else but a latte seemed to suffice. And, the past couple days, I've had hummus with my romaine. Some Sabra brand, some homemade. Neither 100% raw.
Why? Well, to be honest, it is very like me to take something strict and make it even stricter. For example, take a diet full of goodness where you eat an abundance of living food, and try to make it low calorie at the same time. Or make some foods within the no-guilt diet actually seem "worse" than others, and rule them out. I kind of felt myself doing that (read: Max saw me doing it and called me out on it), so I decided to let myself cheat a little, to show myself it wouldn't kill me. And guess what. It didn't! An exercise in moderation, if you can call it that.
So, the run down so far:
- Weight loss - none, so far, disappointingly. I know that's not WHY I did this, but I was hopeful. However, I have noticed a small change in how I look, probably only noticeable to me. But don't worry, I might reveal the secret week by week pictures I've been taking for before and after, if there's ever an impressive after to talk about.
- Energy levels - most days, I feel amazing! Some days, I feel a little woozy and weak, and Max thinks it's because I'm not getting quite enough calories and therefore protein. This is why I've added hummus at night for the past few days. Yesterday I added maybe a tablespoon of tahini to my banana/blueberry/cocoa powder smoothie, and felt sated for longer and had more energy that day. I think adding in some more fat/protein will be a good thing.
- Athletic performance - firstly I'll lol, 'cause I'm no athlete. Secondly, I've seen improvement! This may also be because I'm getting better at running after 4 weeks. Correlation does not equal causation, so it may be the placebo effect... either way, I'm pretty happy with how the running's going. No lack of endurance from lack of grains/animal protein.
- Mood - generally really great. I feel clear minded (as long as I've had enough protein/calories), positive, and more ready to take on the world.
On a Random Note
This is so very off topic, guys, but worth mentioning. Elizabeth Ellis. A woman my dad happened to meet on a plane, who happens to be a phenomenal professional storyteller. Leave it to Dad to befriend the most interesting people ever! They talked for the whole flight, and Dad even took notes on their conversation. Dad ended up ordering a book she co-wrote with Loren Niemi, called Inviting the Wolf In. It's basically about the hows and whys of telling the difficult story. I'm only 33 pages in, but so far it's very good! Interesting and thought provoking.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Important Info to Share (For Once!)
For those of you who don't know my background and haven't read this first post of this blog, I'll give you a run down.
If you don't really care about my life story, go ahead and skip to the end. My feelings won't be hurt.
From age 5 on, I was a ballet dancer. Not just for recreation, I loved it and wanted to make a career of it. From age 13 on, I trained professionally. At 14, I started wanting to be thinner, because I compared myself to my best friend, who was also a dancer. We both had our strengths and weaknesses, but I ignored my strengths and focused on my weaknesses so I could "improve more". That turned into self deprecation. By age 17 in 2009, I had tried calorie counting and "eating healthier" and could never lose more than 5 lbs. Then I went to Austin that summer, and ended up losing between 5 and 10 lbs. I had brainwashed myself and told myself I had gained weight that summer. Everyone was concerned when I returned home. I started running that summer, and had to stop when I resumed dancing professionally with a company. I began to eat less. I began to go to the gym after long days of rehearsals. I started getting thinner, all the while telling myself I wasn't thin, I wasn't a good dancer, I wasn't even a good person. I spiraled so far down inside myself that my family didn't recognize me. There were interventions, threats, the whole 9 yards. I had changed. I cared about nothing but getting as thin as I could, because I didn't believe I deserved happiness in any way. I started self harming. I had lost so my muscle that my dancing had suffered greatly. I couldn't recover from injuries. I was wasting away. I left the company that February 2010, at the urging of my parents. I knew it was over. I had twisted and perverted what I had loved my whole life into a form of punishment.
I thought after I quit I would be free of my self hatred. I wasn't. I stayed thin, kept self harming, and even got worse. I would eat the bare minimum, calorie counting to stay under 800 a day, while exercising, and not counting those calories burned. I would go as long as I could eating deli turkey, 100 calorie packs of microwave popcorn, and diet Dr. Pepper, then binge on chocolate chips when I felt I was going to pass out. Then I would feel guilty and go back to minimum calories for a week. What kept be minimally sane was getting closer to Max, who had become my best friend. He planted seeds of thought, and showed he cared even when he didn't have to. That summer of 2010, we realized we had fallen hard for each other and got engaged. We were married in October 2010.
I thought my self worth would be improved after I got married. It was, but not much. I actually found new avenues of self hatred around the pillars of our relationship. Lots of things improved, and I believe getting married has been the best decision I've made in life so far. But, my sickness was relentless. I continued to self harm, barely eat, and I even began having thoughts of suicide. We were living on Lean Pockets and frozen pizza. Cheap living. In late January of 2011, Max and I didn't know what to do about me. I was miserable, suffering from panic attacks every single night. I would be frozen in place, shaking for at least an hour. People at work started asking about the scratches on my arms. We turned to prescription SSRIs as a last resort for me. They changed my mood for the better, and took away some anxiety about eating, which is what I needed at the time. Months later, I had gained quite a bit of weight, and the self hatred crept back in. In May, I decided that I couldn't handle depending on a pill for my so called happiness, so I weaned myself off. The withdrawal was terrible.
I got promoted at work, a much needed boost, but my feeling about food were still in the back of my mind. I even worked to heal a long sacrum injury, by going to the chiropractor and swimming. I eventually was healed to the point where I could start running again. This was when I found Matt Frazier's blog about running, via my StumbleUpon app for my iPhone. I read and became inspired, and started This Fruit Thing I'm doing about 3.5 weeks ago.
Since then I've detoxed a bit, gained more energy, experienced more mental clarity, been more in touch with my intuition, and inspired my family. For the first time in my life, they're not worried about me. They're even trying out a mostly raw diet right now, too, and I'm so proud of them.
What This Post is Really About
Max found this documentary called Food Matters. It's about the benefits of raw foods, the weirdness/badness of the pharmaceutical industry, and tons of other great information. It really inspired me, and felt kind of like a little confirmation that my experiment is a step in the right direction. I encourage anyone reading to watch this, soon. It is only free until October 8, but honestly, I would pay to see it. It is eye opening. If you think all the raw foodists/vegans/vegetarians/naturopaths are just crazy kooks who are malnourished and like to rant about how crazy society and the government is, then please watch it. At the least you'll get an hour of ammunition with which to ridicule them. At the most, you'll hear things you didn't know, and see different perspectives. Might I add, those perspectives are coming from not only naturopaths and raw foodists, they're also coming from M.D.s and medical journalists. Here's the link to the film's website, with more information about the film. The first link is to the film itself.
Even though I feel that not many people read this blog, if I can encourage ONE person to watch this and they learn something, it's worth it.
If you don't really care about my life story, go ahead and skip to the end. My feelings won't be hurt.
From age 5 on, I was a ballet dancer. Not just for recreation, I loved it and wanted to make a career of it. From age 13 on, I trained professionally. At 14, I started wanting to be thinner, because I compared myself to my best friend, who was also a dancer. We both had our strengths and weaknesses, but I ignored my strengths and focused on my weaknesses so I could "improve more". That turned into self deprecation. By age 17 in 2009, I had tried calorie counting and "eating healthier" and could never lose more than 5 lbs. Then I went to Austin that summer, and ended up losing between 5 and 10 lbs. I had brainwashed myself and told myself I had gained weight that summer. Everyone was concerned when I returned home. I started running that summer, and had to stop when I resumed dancing professionally with a company. I began to eat less. I began to go to the gym after long days of rehearsals. I started getting thinner, all the while telling myself I wasn't thin, I wasn't a good dancer, I wasn't even a good person. I spiraled so far down inside myself that my family didn't recognize me. There were interventions, threats, the whole 9 yards. I had changed. I cared about nothing but getting as thin as I could, because I didn't believe I deserved happiness in any way. I started self harming. I had lost so my muscle that my dancing had suffered greatly. I couldn't recover from injuries. I was wasting away. I left the company that February 2010, at the urging of my parents. I knew it was over. I had twisted and perverted what I had loved my whole life into a form of punishment.
I thought after I quit I would be free of my self hatred. I wasn't. I stayed thin, kept self harming, and even got worse. I would eat the bare minimum, calorie counting to stay under 800 a day, while exercising, and not counting those calories burned. I would go as long as I could eating deli turkey, 100 calorie packs of microwave popcorn, and diet Dr. Pepper, then binge on chocolate chips when I felt I was going to pass out. Then I would feel guilty and go back to minimum calories for a week. What kept be minimally sane was getting closer to Max, who had become my best friend. He planted seeds of thought, and showed he cared even when he didn't have to. That summer of 2010, we realized we had fallen hard for each other and got engaged. We were married in October 2010.
I thought my self worth would be improved after I got married. It was, but not much. I actually found new avenues of self hatred around the pillars of our relationship. Lots of things improved, and I believe getting married has been the best decision I've made in life so far. But, my sickness was relentless. I continued to self harm, barely eat, and I even began having thoughts of suicide. We were living on Lean Pockets and frozen pizza. Cheap living. In late January of 2011, Max and I didn't know what to do about me. I was miserable, suffering from panic attacks every single night. I would be frozen in place, shaking for at least an hour. People at work started asking about the scratches on my arms. We turned to prescription SSRIs as a last resort for me. They changed my mood for the better, and took away some anxiety about eating, which is what I needed at the time. Months later, I had gained quite a bit of weight, and the self hatred crept back in. In May, I decided that I couldn't handle depending on a pill for my so called happiness, so I weaned myself off. The withdrawal was terrible.
I got promoted at work, a much needed boost, but my feeling about food were still in the back of my mind. I even worked to heal a long sacrum injury, by going to the chiropractor and swimming. I eventually was healed to the point where I could start running again. This was when I found Matt Frazier's blog about running, via my StumbleUpon app for my iPhone. I read and became inspired, and started This Fruit Thing I'm doing about 3.5 weeks ago.
Since then I've detoxed a bit, gained more energy, experienced more mental clarity, been more in touch with my intuition, and inspired my family. For the first time in my life, they're not worried about me. They're even trying out a mostly raw diet right now, too, and I'm so proud of them.
What This Post is Really About
Max found this documentary called Food Matters. It's about the benefits of raw foods, the weirdness/badness of the pharmaceutical industry, and tons of other great information. It really inspired me, and felt kind of like a little confirmation that my experiment is a step in the right direction. I encourage anyone reading to watch this, soon. It is only free until October 8, but honestly, I would pay to see it. It is eye opening. If you think all the raw foodists/vegans/vegetarians/naturopaths are just crazy kooks who are malnourished and like to rant about how crazy society and the government is, then please watch it. At the least you'll get an hour of ammunition with which to ridicule them. At the most, you'll hear things you didn't know, and see different perspectives. Might I add, those perspectives are coming from not only naturopaths and raw foodists, they're also coming from M.D.s and medical journalists. Here's the link to the film's website, with more information about the film. The first link is to the film itself.
Even though I feel that not many people read this blog, if I can encourage ONE person to watch this and they learn something, it's worth it.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Updating My Kitchen
I'm the queen of procrastination. But when I actually do what I've been meaning to for days/weeks/months, it feels so great that I wonder why I put it off. It's one of those things I'm working on. Since going raw, our kitchen has become more full of fruit and therefore more cluttered. There were also the things that we used to use daily... the cast iron pot we left out, the toaster oven, the giant stir fry pan on top of the fridge, etc. Since we don't use them anymore, they just added clutter. So, for a procrastinator like myself, what is the best way to fix a situation like this?
Stop staring and just do it
Yep, it pretty much is that simple. Today after making a cup of coffee (not technically raw, I know), I thought to myself, I'm going to just clean the sink while my coffee cools off. That turned into retiring the toaster over, cleaning the top of the fridge, organizing the plastic bags under the sink, and having to reheat my coffee by the end of it. The kitchen feels so much more clean and open now! I feel like the energy is more alive and flowing, and less clogged and stressful. I'll take that any day!
What if you don't know where to start on a pile of clutter? It's pretty overwhelming sometimes. Here are the steps I take to get over myself and get on with the decluttering.
Before: poor little neglected toaster over... now it has a retirement home in our pantry!
After: fresh and clean, energized with fresh fruits and vegetables!
The top of our fridge is home only to the essentials now. Yes, that Target lunch bag is essential.
Stop staring and just do it
Yep, it pretty much is that simple. Today after making a cup of coffee (not technically raw, I know), I thought to myself, I'm going to just clean the sink while my coffee cools off. That turned into retiring the toaster over, cleaning the top of the fridge, organizing the plastic bags under the sink, and having to reheat my coffee by the end of it. The kitchen feels so much more clean and open now! I feel like the energy is more alive and flowing, and less clogged and stressful. I'll take that any day!
What if you don't know where to start on a pile of clutter? It's pretty overwhelming sometimes. Here are the steps I take to get over myself and get on with the decluttering.
- Pick up the piece of clutter closest to you. Ask yourself, "Do I use this daily?" If not, it needs to go in a cabinet out of the way, or in the trash. If the cabinet is also cluttered, start there instead. If you need to, make piles of your clutter according to what needs to happen to them. For example, a pile of put-away-forever, throw-away, leave-on-the-cabinet, I-just-have-no-idea-right-now-omg, where-did-I-even-get-that, etc.
- Repeat step 1 until you have a surface clean. Chances are you'll be making a face at how gross that surface looks. Get yourself a scrubby sponge and some cleaner, and clean it till you feel great about it. This is usually where I feel my momentum picking up.
- Once you have your clutter in piles and your surfaces squeaky clean, start putting things back into their new places. This is the fun part. You get to put things wherever you want, knowing they're clean and refreshed!
- Admire your work. You did something awesome, and the energy in your apartment/house is closer to flowing freely and making you feel even better.
Before: poor little neglected toaster over... now it has a retirement home in our pantry!
After: fresh and clean, energized with fresh fruits and vegetables!
The top of our fridge is home only to the essentials now. Yes, that Target lunch bag is essential.I hope this inspires you to get on that clutter you've been avoiding. Take it from someone good at avoiding: it's so much better to just get over yourself and deal. You'll feel way better, and it will actually energize you more than avoiding it will.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
This Fruit Thing Day 10: Clear Skin & Something Savory
Sorry, Biore Skincare, you just lost a customer
I feel better every day on This Fruit Thing, even at the end of my 60 hour work week. I noticed yesterday that my pores are way cleaner looking. Usually if I lean really close to my mirror and inspect the skin around my nose and chin, I can see little blackhead-type things, and it's pretty gross. It's like the "before" in a Biore pore strip commercial. But now, my pores look CLEAN. It's crazy the difference after only 8 or 9 days. This is the first visible change I've noticed from This Fruit Thing.
Variety wins
Almost all the fruit from our trip to the Sunflower Market is gone, and it has been amazing. Though bananas are still a large part of our diets, having that variety made the bananas way more tolerable, to me at least. This last week was the first time in my life I've tried fresh peaches and mangoes. I've been missing out! I'm going to look into higher calorie fruits I can get, to make sure Max is getting enough. I think I'm doing fine on calories, but Max is a lot taller than me, AND he's starting to run again. Can have him wasting away on me!
Savory raw treat
I found this idea on rawsynerytv's Youtube channel. Zucchini "pasta" with marinara sauce! I ended up blending together a bunch of roma tomatoes, 1 1/2 red bell peppers, 2 stalks of celery, 2 cloves of garlic, and a couple handfuls of spinach, along with some dried basil and parsley. I didn't have sun dried tomatoes or medjul dates in the house, so I omitted them. I ended up with a delicious kind of salsa, made very flavorful by the red bell peppers and garlic. I didn't have any zucchini to make the pasta with, so I just used romaine lettuce as chips to dip, heh. Max cut up a raw sweet potato for his. I wish had taken a picture, because it was actually really pretty with the bright red tomatoes and peppers against the deep green spinach. It was a wonderful savory snack, and a nice break from sweet fruit! Next time I'd love to have fresh herbs and tomatoes to make it with.
I was going to go running to start my day, but I'm STILL sore from my Thursday run! I did a normal run around the park, but here's what sealed the deal: I did sprints up a large hill. I learned that day that I am terrible at sprints, and should do them more often. I'm thinking I'll include them in my workout twice a week, and see how that goes. For today, my calves/quads/hamstrings are killing me! I'm looking forward to my pedicure with my mom later today!
I feel better every day on This Fruit Thing, even at the end of my 60 hour work week. I noticed yesterday that my pores are way cleaner looking. Usually if I lean really close to my mirror and inspect the skin around my nose and chin, I can see little blackhead-type things, and it's pretty gross. It's like the "before" in a Biore pore strip commercial. But now, my pores look CLEAN. It's crazy the difference after only 8 or 9 days. This is the first visible change I've noticed from This Fruit Thing.
Variety wins
Almost all the fruit from our trip to the Sunflower Market is gone, and it has been amazing. Though bananas are still a large part of our diets, having that variety made the bananas way more tolerable, to me at least. This last week was the first time in my life I've tried fresh peaches and mangoes. I've been missing out! I'm going to look into higher calorie fruits I can get, to make sure Max is getting enough. I think I'm doing fine on calories, but Max is a lot taller than me, AND he's starting to run again. Can have him wasting away on me!
Savory raw treat
I found this idea on rawsynerytv's Youtube channel. Zucchini "pasta" with marinara sauce! I ended up blending together a bunch of roma tomatoes, 1 1/2 red bell peppers, 2 stalks of celery, 2 cloves of garlic, and a couple handfuls of spinach, along with some dried basil and parsley. I didn't have sun dried tomatoes or medjul dates in the house, so I omitted them. I ended up with a delicious kind of salsa, made very flavorful by the red bell peppers and garlic. I didn't have any zucchini to make the pasta with, so I just used romaine lettuce as chips to dip, heh. Max cut up a raw sweet potato for his. I wish had taken a picture, because it was actually really pretty with the bright red tomatoes and peppers against the deep green spinach. It was a wonderful savory snack, and a nice break from sweet fruit! Next time I'd love to have fresh herbs and tomatoes to make it with.
I was going to go running to start my day, but I'm STILL sore from my Thursday run! I did a normal run around the park, but here's what sealed the deal: I did sprints up a large hill. I learned that day that I am terrible at sprints, and should do them more often. I'm thinking I'll include them in my workout twice a week, and see how that goes. For today, my calves/quads/hamstrings are killing me! I'm looking forward to my pedicure with my mom later today!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Pandas
Working long hours makes me a tired pandaI haven't gone running in 3 days, and it's driving me nuts! Saturday was a rest day, and Sunday I worked from 9am-10pm, and I couldn't get myself up to go before, having closed at work the night before. But, today I have the time and energy (I think)! I think I'm even going to skip the treadmill and run at the park, which I love.
Panda Bear makes me an inspired panda
Noah Lennox, aka Panda Bear, is an original member of Animal Collective. I didn't originally think that his experimental kind of music would be fun to run to, but let me tell you, it is! Right now I can't take Tomboy out of my car. The harmonies and melodies almost remind me of a movie soundtrack. Like each song has so much more meaning than just a pop song. It's hard to explain the grand feeling of the music in this album. I also really enjoy running to Animal Collective, particularly Merriweather Post Pavilion. I could hyperlink so many more words to youtube, but I think I'll go ahead and stop being a noob.
A fridge full of produce makes me a happy panda
My parents and Max and I went to Sunflower Farmer's Market last night! It was so awesome to see the huge selection of organic (and non organic) fruits and vegetables. Max and I stocked our fridge completely full of awesome produce. This will be a nice break from the millions of bananas I've been eating... yesterday I swore I would be sick if I tried to eat another one. But, variety to the rescue! We got mangos, peaches, black grapes, pears, honeydew melons, cauliflower, red bell peppers, lettuce, celery, and other things I forgot! I'm so excited to chow down on this variety. We also got a bunch of burro bananas, which look quite... interesting. I guess we have nothing to lose, so I'm excited!
Ok, off to run.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Fruit + Overtime
OVERTIME!
It's so great! So much time to get everything done at work! But then there's also the aching body, lack of sleep, etc. Add in a radical change in diet, and you've pulled a Jo.
"Detox"
I think, from what I've read, I'm experiencing some detox symptoms. Headache, nausea, stomachache, all over body soreness, lack of energy. I was hoping for instant amazingness, boundless energy, and all the other positive effects I've read about. Max thinks I'm not eating enough. I've counted it up a few times just like I said I wouldn't, and I'm getting 1900-2200 calories a day. And let me tell you, it's HARD. When I first read about people only counting calories to make sure they got enough, I was like, "Pfff, yeah right, skinny people. Rub it in the normal peoples' faces!" But I think I get it now. I have to eat SO much, it seems like. I sometimes feel like I'm force feeding myself. I think I need some variety... at this point I just eat so. many. bananas. One positive effect, however, my cravings have all but disappeared. Which is crazy cool. That by itself is pretty freeing, at least mentally. Today starts day 5 of This Fruit Thing, so we'll see how it goes from here.
On a blog related note
I changed my background! It's a WoW screenshot, yes. I feel great about it. It's in the Grizzly Hills. It holds a special place in my heart because it's where Max and I got engaged (yes, in game), and it's also a really nice zone. Also, I suck at making this blog look good, so I'm just amusing myself. (I'm blogging like no one's reading, remember?)
On a completely unrelated note
I'm on day 3 of recycling my eyeshadow. Probably not the best for my eyes, but working 12 and 13 hour days back to back can take away a bit of will. Don't worry, I touch it up every morning, and YES, I've been showering. It's a deep purple that I've lined my eyes with and smudged for a smoky effect, so it's super reapply-friendly. I think I'm trying to keep this fall weather around by signalling the universe with my fall makeup. It's kind of working, and mostly making me feel great. I have a thing for dark makeup.
Ok, I'm off to fly around in WoW looking for more beautiful screenshots to amuse myself with, then work time. Have a great day!
It's so great! So much time to get everything done at work! But then there's also the aching body, lack of sleep, etc. Add in a radical change in diet, and you've pulled a Jo.
"Detox"
I think, from what I've read, I'm experiencing some detox symptoms. Headache, nausea, stomachache, all over body soreness, lack of energy. I was hoping for instant amazingness, boundless energy, and all the other positive effects I've read about. Max thinks I'm not eating enough. I've counted it up a few times just like I said I wouldn't, and I'm getting 1900-2200 calories a day. And let me tell you, it's HARD. When I first read about people only counting calories to make sure they got enough, I was like, "Pfff, yeah right, skinny people. Rub it in the normal peoples' faces!" But I think I get it now. I have to eat SO much, it seems like. I sometimes feel like I'm force feeding myself. I think I need some variety... at this point I just eat so. many. bananas. One positive effect, however, my cravings have all but disappeared. Which is crazy cool. That by itself is pretty freeing, at least mentally. Today starts day 5 of This Fruit Thing, so we'll see how it goes from here.
On a blog related note
I changed my background! It's a WoW screenshot, yes. I feel great about it. It's in the Grizzly Hills. It holds a special place in my heart because it's where Max and I got engaged (yes, in game), and it's also a really nice zone. Also, I suck at making this blog look good, so I'm just amusing myself. (I'm blogging like no one's reading, remember?)
On a completely unrelated note
I'm on day 3 of recycling my eyeshadow. Probably not the best for my eyes, but working 12 and 13 hour days back to back can take away a bit of will. Don't worry, I touch it up every morning, and YES, I've been showering. It's a deep purple that I've lined my eyes with and smudged for a smoky effect, so it's super reapply-friendly. I think I'm trying to keep this fall weather around by signalling the universe with my fall makeup. It's kind of working, and mostly making me feel great. I have a thing for dark makeup.
Ok, I'm off to fly around in WoW looking for more beautiful screenshots to amuse myself with, then work time. Have a great day!
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